“Mothers are people, not categories.
. . . it’s glaringly obvious that the person speaking is tired and not thinking about what she’s saying, not thinking about all the obvious exceptions to what she’s saying, and would not say it if she heard what she sounded like.”
Often I consider the receptive vs expressive nature of the internet. We subscribe to people who think like us, ‘friend’ people who have similar views, and frequent the blogs that espouse what we want to hear. It’s all very good for encouraging and normalizing the new habits/thought processes you’re trying to internalize, but tends to turn us into extremists. Instead of being open to a different idea or experience, we become experts in our favorite rhetoric and begin regurgitating those talking points on any forum we see.
We aren’t being receptive. You don’t get ‘likes’ or comments of encouragement for sincerely listening to someone’s perspective. You get them for skillfully and hurtfully delivering your own message.
Most of us, most of the time, are trying to be helpful. Using this powerful analogy or that emotionally charged line is meant to get your attention and show you the issue under a new light.
Sometimes that works, but not often. Not on the internet.
Like usual, I am guilty of this. I try really hard to be loving and kind and understanding, and I usually do a better job in person than online. But even in person I sometimes fail. I haven’t slept that beautiful, deep sleep of the non-parent in 3 years, and that does wear on a person’s eloquence.
But I am trying. I do try. Which is why I so encourage being challenged. I am not so proud as to cling to my opinions in the face of a good and reasoned argument to the contrary. I am not opposed to changing my opinions or editing my words.
Because in the end, this is just the internet. I am just me. I don’t really take myself all that seriously. And there’s no reason for you to either. I’m just figuring things out as I go along, and writing here so you can follow along if you like. No big whoop.